All Hail The "Ty-Agers"!!!!

Recently, I read an article about some celebrities protesting against their birth dates being published on certain web-sites for one-and-all to view. No surprise that most of the complainants were....ahem...."youthfully challenged"! This has been a perpetual problem for humankind (especially the female of our species, because their advancing age is made a far bigger issue of, despite the fact that they generally tend to outlive their male counterparts). Hence, here's my solution: After your "teen years", that is once you are done being a "teenager", you should formally start your "Ty Years" and be recognised as "Ty Agers" in society(an age group that includes every human from age 20 to age 99)!!!!

Now for the Nitty-Gritty details:

Twenty to Twenty-Nine (our Baby-Ty years), when we are actually proud of this new & special status!

Thirty to Thirty-Nine: Well, we're still proud Ty-Agers; we make it a point to mention in public that we're in our "early Ty-s"!

Forty to Forty-Nine: Mid-life crisis approaching? Well, we derive consolation from the famous saying that Life Begins At Forty!

Fifty to Fifty-Nine: Mid-life crisis??!! That would imply that you might live to be 100....c'mon now, what are the chances??!!

Sixty to Sixty-Nine: The only consolation is how the number sounds so akin to one of the biggest attractions in our society....just replace the "i" with the "e" in "Six", i.e. ....well, you figure it out! Now, isn't that "Sexciting"?

Seventy to Seventy-Nine: In your "late Ty-s" eh? What a pity! The only way to feel any youthful vigour is to compare yourself (hopefully) favourably with the rare octogenarians & nonagenarians around!

Eighty to Eighty-Nine: Every time you look around, your heart is filled with joy at the thought that all the younger "kids" around will be lucky to be blessed with your impressive longevity!

Ninety to Ninety-Nine: At this stage, you finally realise that it's almost embarrassing to be conscious about your age! Besides, chances are that senility has already deprived you of the ability to indulge in such deep thoughts. Now, the question that keeps you awake at night is: Shall I live to be a 103?

Of course, once you are past Ninety-Nine, you tend to feel this awful Dread in anticipation of your "Dred Years", the Hundreds!

Here's hoping this will soothe & calm the nerves of all humans depressed about their advancing age....